I’m alive, a very honest rant/post

I’m alive.  I’m posting this while laying in bed trying to go to sleep cause my mind and body is telling me I need rest but just have had too much on the brain as of late and it tends to keep me up. 

I’m not doing well at all on the diet front, yes Ive gone to the gym a few time and Ive done my best to try to stay motivated.

I’m really strugling to find what deep down inside is the problem that pushes me to food.

As Ive stated before in a previous post, I get on these kicks.  Story of my life.

I haven’t stepped on a scale in a few weeks and I’m afraid to. 

I’m not giving up, I just think I need to start over.  Back to the basics.

I used to get emotionally upset about this all but I don’t anymore.  I honestly think it’s because for once in my life Ive learned that I’m the only one that can change me.  No one else but myself.  I used to cry because I wanted someone to help.  I used to cry because I was hoping that for example Chris Powell would come running to save the day. 

The thing is even if the above were to happen, I still have to do it. 

A friend of mine said to me in an email how she new that Ive always been the person that if I want something I always find a way to make it work.  She also reminded me that it’s also my nature that in my worst of times. I’ve always

found a way to make it work.

I need to start all over back to square one.  I need to take the you have to fail to succeed approach. 

I need to dig down deep and find the I am, I can, instead of the I want, I will/tomorrow type attitude.

Thanks for letting me rant, be honest, be truthful & get this off my chest. 

Posted from WordPress for Android

About Jess Perreca Jr

is a professional health, weight loss & fitness blogger on a weight loss journey to lose over 300lbs on no sugar no grains.

Comments

  1. Sending good vibes your way, Jess…

    Be kind to that soul of yours… Regardless of the what’s, the why’s, etc. I hope you are finding the strength to be kind and patient and loving to yourself, so that you (and your wife) can show that beautiful daughter of yours that regardless of our path, our circumstances, our struggles, that love and patience are the best way.

    You will find your path, the “negative” is sometimes just as helpful as the “positive” in helping guide us to where we need to be…

    Stay strong and loving!
    Ryan

  2. Jess, its really good that you got this off your chest.

    You are NOT alone.

    All of us on this journey feel this way at one point or another. Just today I wrote my post on regrouping and in essence it is going back to basics.

    We are strong because it takes a lot to keep going at this.

    Sending you may positive thoughts. 🙂
    Patty @ A Day in My NYC recently posted..Apparently It’s Not FailureMy Profile

  3. Jess my mantra at times like this may help you.

    “Own it.
    Learn from it.
    Get over it.
    Get on with it.”

    Everyone has to fall down and get back up. Dudes like us are not going to do this in one round of focused weight loss. It is going to take a complete change in lifestyle and a lot of patience with our bodies and ourselves. I know because even after I lost 100 pounds I was still shopping at the big and tall store.

    You got this man. Get to work.

  4. we all have to find our various motivations -and they do not remain the same throughout the journey.
    whatever drove you yesterday seems to warn out it’s welcome and you need to find the drive for tomorrow. I’ve found I may need a BIG distance goal: something I hope to achieve in 6 months or more. Then I break that down to smaller goals – something to achieve this week or this month.

    These NEVER have anything to do with fat loss directly. That is, my goals are not lose the 20# I gained this past winter. But fat loss is always built in as a result of working for toward goals. What if you picked a distant goal line like FitBloggin next year (whenever it’s held). What goal(s) would you want to accomplish? Doing the walk? Swimming laps one evening with a group of friends? Challenging me to a lift off? Choose a couple fun ones and see where it gets you.
    deb roby recently posted..Countdown to BionicMy Profile

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